Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
剧情推荐有点别扭
韩寒能不能把剧本打磨好了再来秀你的赛车啊，烦死了
韩寒的前几部电影我都是持肯定态度，这部刚上映时，个人对如潮恶评依然不以为然，总觉得他野蛮生长的路子及浑不吝的姿态总有可取之处。到看后，才发现不太好夸了，问题大概主要是出在抒情上，一是抒情篇幅，较之以往不少反多。二是抒情姿态，中年直男感慨青春疼痛，本身就特别危险，也容易遭受诟病，轻则自恋，重则到意识形态的癌变有毒。
柯受良飞越黄河这件事估计韩寒挺羡慕的，自己当然没那个实力，于是在电影中让吴仁耀飞了一次珠江，用的还只是摩托车，故事没劲就不说了，台词是什么鬼，根本聊不到一块儿，有一点儿真情实感吗，有一句说得好，做好了就会像没做一样，拍了一部电影，等于没拍。
看了《麦琪的礼物》才更懂这部电影，在快餐时代，更显得真心可贵，所以是满满的讽刺，很能get到韩导的点，比之前的几部片子要丰富些。这也绝不是青春电影或者摩托题材电影，有点可惜选错了档期
在一片支离破碎中，有一些奇怪的特质与能量在某种超现实的语境中被引爆，整体绝非一无是处
其实删掉一些尴尬的冷笑话和一些表达欲过剩的片段，拍一个纯粹的底层爱情片的话，不会这么差。这片子最大的意义就是教育大家，千万不要跟借网贷的人交朋友
如果故事能够不紧不慢娓娓道来就更棒了
没有那么糟，但也确实称不上多好。中间部分情节有些拖沓，虽然仍融合了赛车元素+大场面，但其实相当地作者化。内核相当消极，你人生最受瞩目的高光时刻，是做别人的替身，那一晚心爱的女孩在去送你礼物的路上被撞死了。这部片被放进贺岁档，我感到很迷惑。
而且你管这叫 喜剧？
中心思想好不明确的一部电影，就像一锅想把文艺、喜剧幽默混在一起难以下咽的大杂烩。
节奏接近崩溃，好剧情因此被分的七零八碎。含腾量过低，建议避雷
新诈骗电影，薅沈腾羊毛，却只有几个镜头，还我钱
痴迷于小镇叙事的韩寒对于边缘地带“质朴”民风的构造已经信手拈来，然而视角一旦回归到城市却呈现了失真浮夸的虚假。鬼火少年成舔狗，梦中情人变傻姑，点个鞭炮就把摩托烧了，喝个酒就排队跳海，不懂如何开房门也不懂上网搜，禁摩的广州居然还能开到广州塔～拍了和没拍一样，从尹正溺亡沈腾下线后就开始全面崩坏，怕火的少年扎进火坑里，怕水的少女被撞进海里，想用喜剧来包裹悲剧，却疏于视觉传达只能依靠更多独白显得十分矫情，旺盛的表达欲终究让四海变成了四不像。更可怕的是全部角色要么飙车违章，要么抛妻弃子，要么冒用身份借贷，要么肇事逃逸，已经不是没有方向的想到哪拍哪，完全成了毫无意义的价值输出。结局还要用郭敬明式的伤痛念白来落下帷幕，第四部作品的四海满满都是四的意志，他的文字还爱他，所以片名也可以叫《悲伤逆行摩托车》。
拍了个稀碎，哪都不挨着，叙事的推动非常勉强，总是感觉要拍不下去了，挺业余的，只能看看尹正
导演是怎么把刘浩存拍的这么俗气让人认不出来的呢。这么多年了，我们都长大了，韩寒还是在上初中，就像柯南一直在上小学一样。
5分吧，男主就算给了这么多本地元素，在南澳还是显得格格不入，尹正演的不错，抽的欧万也很符合人物，从他死了后剧情就变得很奇葩
你到底想拍什么？又到底想表达什么？
卷人无法共情，几个主角一直在做不着调的事，没有反思，没有成长，倒是挺会排解悲伤的（几句鸡汤、几缕海风完事）。看得我着急。80后的怀旧元素也看腻了。
她总能无时无刻治愈着我
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